Yes, quite a few times, especially in 2 European countries where I have been for some time.
At both of them because of the way I was dressed, informally.
It seemed the perception in one was that there was no intention on my part to buy anything, I did not have the money or was classy enough, judging from the way I presented myself, as the few people that went into the shop appeared to be decided, with the means, and rather formally well-dressed. In fact one of the attendees left the shop to call one of the securities, who stood visibly in front of the store and eventually went in to enquire if I was going to buy anything.
I did purchase 2 nice pairs of shoes, but the same attendee was reluctant in her attitude, as she might have thought that she was going though a lot of trouble for nothing, so she even denied having the requested size. It was only after the intervention of another custo-me and the security that she finally did what she was paid to do. Her attitude was quite different from her colleague. I even asked for the manager/owner, who was absent, and went there afterwards again to talk to him/her, but again unsuccessfully. After the buy she was all smiles, with a change of attitude. A creep, who thinks everybody is rubbish except some. Before i buy everything is checked well, the material, its resistance, elegance on the foot from all sides, etc., but that is part of selling and buying. This was in Moscow, in a small mall, Novokustznetskaya. In my opinion she should be fired, for the way she dealt with me. I was in the shop about 4 or 5 times, before and after, trying to get to the manager.. When she saw I was going to buy or could do it, her whole demeanour changed. I never buy blindly. And I have seen lots of people who don´t.
In another city, at classy shops, I can see in the attendees eyes and attitudes that I am not good enough, not a “gentleman” by the looks of my clothes and informalness. And there arriving other customers, well-dressed, looking very respectable, with supposed buying power, they immediately approach him/her, very solicitous, courteously, submittingly, as if they were Imperial Magesties.
The person may be the biggest swindler, but his attire will definitely make out of him the most respectable of people. The others, dressed informally or commonly are poor devils that they have to put up with. Naturally I am not generalizing, there are such shops where you are treated decently, as a human being and or client.
I was moving. I had sold my house and purchased another house. Closing was in a week. I had spent probably two weeks packing up and cleaning up and getting ready to move. I had not bothered to wash clothes because I was too busy. Finally I was down to my very last set of clothes. They were not pretty. I put on my last set of clean clothes. My one washing machine was not enough to hold the four loads that I needed to do, so I took them to the nearest laundrymat and used four machines at once to wash almost every set of clothes that I owned.
The house that I was selling was in the city. I did not really need a car and the one that I had was old and unreliable. Where I was moving to was in a nice suburb with no public transit. I needed a reliable car.
While nearly all of my clothes were in the wash, I walked into the car dealership across the street. They would not talk to me. They would not look at me. They refused to have anything at all to do with me.
I went back to the laundrymat and put my clothes into the dryer, dried them, and took them home. A few days later I walked into a different car dealership and paid cash for a new car. I needed it for where I was moving to.
The first dealership lost a cash deal for a new car because they were too arrogant to talk to a guy in his old clothes.
I year later I had an overnight flight to London, England. Jet lagged and looking like garbage I went straight to my hotel, checked in, dropped my bags, and headed to the Burberry main store in London. With me looking like something that the cat dragged in, they gave me great service. By the end of the week I flew home with a brand new Burberry coat. It is now thirty years later and I still have it. I still wear it on windy and rainy “like London in the winter” days.
Burberry did what the car deal
Yes. Before COVID-19 and quarantine, I liked go out shopping. One weekend my friend canceled on me at the last minute. I was a little upset and bored, so I decided to go shopping myself. I didn’t wear make-up and I dressed pretty casual. I’ve been working hard so long, I saved some extra money, I wanted to buy something nice for me, so when I passed Chanel, I went into it, and started looking for something I like.
I found this bracelet I wanted to try, I asked the sales lady “may I try it on?” She glanced at me, and said, “That bracelet might be over your budget, are you sure you want to try it?” I was a little irritated, I know I wasn’t dressed like I can afford it, but who says only well-dressed people can buy a Chanel? I responded: “Don’t worry about my budget, I just want to try that bracelet.” She looked like I had just asked her to slaughter a dragon, she slowly brought out the bracelet, slowly showed me the whole bracelet, and slowly put it on my wrist, I checked it out in the mirror, not bad, and then as soon as I said, ”OK, I’m done, here you can take it…” Not till I finished my sentence, she took it off put it in the box so fast I swear I didn’t even see how she did it. By that time I was deeply annoyed, I just walked right through the door, I can imagine the sales lady thinking “Told you you can’t afford it.”
But I didn’t walk away, I walked right across Chanel into another shop which is Cartier, less than 15 minutes I walked out satisfied with my new bracelet, I saw that sales lady at Chanel standing behind that glass door, she saw me too, I smiled and waved at her. That felt amazing.
And here’s my bracelet, I really like it.
I didn’t expect so many upvotes and comments, for these loving and supporting people, thank you! But I also see a lot people criticizing and saying I made a bad choice, here are something I want to clarify.
I didn’t buy the Cartier bracelet out of spite, Chanel wasn’t the first store I walked in, I tried other bracelets from several brands before, I didn’t buy one because I didn’t like their style, but those sales people treated me well. Here’s the two bracelets, you can see Cartier’s actually cheaper, though I didn’t buy it at the exact price, with taxes, discount and a whole lot stuff, the price is a little different in here( China), but I can afford either of them. For people saying that I let things get to me easily, no I don’t, I just made sure my money didn’t get to her. Luxury brands sales person work on commission, she treated me like trash, why would I let her earn my hard-working money? The sales lady in Cartier said, and I quote,”This bracelet is simple, elegant, and classic, it goes well with either business suits and casual outfit.” See, that lady mentioned my casual outfit, but I wasn’t offended at all, treat people equally is not that hard. Anyway, I like my bracelet, that dude commented “ugly bracelet”, I don’t mind you buy me a new prettier one at the same price. : )
Have you ever been ignored by the staff in a store because you didn’t look wealthy enough?
1. Approximately 10% to 15% of babies are “born shy”. They are more likely to cringe, and make less social responses; even a mild stressful situation can make their heart beat faster and blood pressure higher.
2. Shy people will probably be great listeners
3. At least 80% of shy people think that even if they find other people’s mistake, they will not point it out.
4. Approximately one-third of shy people will be more anxious after learning communication skills, because they still do not know why and what to communicate.
They are more likely to be upset, and they tend to be alone when they are upset.
5. The situation in which shyness occurs is often accompanied by an individual’s perception of self, including physical characteristics such as height and skin texture, character characteristics such as boredom, stupidity and hypocrisy, and behaviors such as lying, fraud and theft.
These unattractive traits and behaviors will lead to others’ contempt and disgust, and then make the individual be rejected and belittled. As a result, the individual’s social status will affected, and even be excluded by the group.
Therefore, when shyness appears as a social fear, it is actually guiding the individual to establish a good image and positive attitude; in this way, we can be accepted, valued and loved.
In fact, shyness and shame are embodied in helping individuals to “get on the right track”, ensuring that individuals do things that are acceptable to the society, while avoiding being punished and expelled by the society.
6. 40% of shy people tend to think that I have nothing to say, at least I can remain silent.
Marcela Matos, Jose Pinto-Gouveia, Paul Gilbert, “The effect of shame and shame memories on paranoid ideation and social anxiety”
Philip G. Zimbardo (2009). Shyness: What it is, What to do about it. Da Capo Press.
“The Relationship of Shame, Social Anxiety and Depression: The Role of the Evaluation of Social Rank”